is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
