What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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