Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
