Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
