Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
