i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
