he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
