Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
