That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
