ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
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I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.