Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.

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(956): View more from Texas

he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls

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