only if we run a train.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?