im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.