I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
