Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
