you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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