VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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