i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
