I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
