I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
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