and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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