have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize