yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
