Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
