those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
