You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
