her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
