when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
