with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
