I must be too annoying 4 u.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
