Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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