ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
