no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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