I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
