He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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