hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
