Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
