Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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