1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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