im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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