More tranny stories later!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
