I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
