I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't put those talents on a resume
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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