SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Houston, we have a blender
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Last time i carry you out of a forest
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
