Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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