OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
