he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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