so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
