Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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