8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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