yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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