So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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