You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
