Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
