Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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