friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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