Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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