so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You can't just leave with hair like that
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
