I didn't shave. On purpose
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
