It's like God shit irony all over that family
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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