I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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