I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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