Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
