I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
